This is a special blog post reserved for those of you who are trying to help an engineer friend or relative get into a significant relationship. Knowing how an engineer reacts in the company of a real, live, talking female can be very helpful in setting him up to not fail so miserably that he wants to hide in his room and stay there until he can create something new that no one really wants anyways!
As we’ve pointed out elsewhere, your engineer spent much of his adolescence with others mostly like himself – smart people, mostly male, who were societal outcasts throughout high school. He didn’t care to follow fashion, except when it was about technology, when he was usually two years ahead of everyone else. The clothes he wore looked like he’d slept in them for a week. And as for a complexion? Don’t go there! Please!
Not exactly the choicest dating material for the typical teenaged girl!
Now that he’s more grown up (note that we did not say ALL grown up), your engineer still has some internal conflicts about getting involved with females.
On the plus side, engineers have considerably more respect for women than the average male, and can usually be counted on to be the most chivalrous escorts a woman might encounter.
On the negative side, the engineer has two BIG fears when it comes to meeting women, especially those women he doesn’t already know (and who therefore DO NOT want to date him).
The smaller of these two fears is that she might not talk to him. She might simply come into the room where he’s waiting and (usually in this order):
- Set her eyes upon a guy who has spent a lot of money on clothes and getting ready for the evening, but who still looks like a retread from a low budget ad in the back of a computer technology magazine.
- Decide that she’s not into dating a geek right now,
- Scream an insult aimed in the general direction of the (absent) person who sent her on this ridiculous set-up and then promise to kill that person’s first born in retaliation for this joke of a “date”.
- Leave without ever so much as saying hello.
All this is guaranteed to leave another small scar on your engineer. The sight of her running, crying, from the room is like an emotional black hole, sucking out more of his already low levels of self-confidence.
Bad as this fear is, it pales compared to the larger fear – that she won’t run away. Shockingly, she does not recognize the blind date as a geek and instead comes across the room and says “hi”. This dreaded scenario now means that the engineer must talk with the female. This is nothing short of a minefield for the emotionally challenged engineer – and he knows it!
It’s only a matter of time (think minutes not hours) before the engineer will say something incredibly stupid, causing the unsuspecting lady to either:
- spit her drink across the table (should she have liquid in her mouth at the time),
- let out a surprised “What?” which causes the entire restaurant to look at your engineer, making him feel even more of a fool, or
- run to the lady’s room, holding back tears about what was just said to her!
So, what are you to do to help your engineer find the woman of his dreams? (aside from the ones he sees in the magazines, that is!)
In a word – nothing! Let’s face it, he’s a hopeless case! And you have much more useful things to do with yours, like figuring out whether or not to chew on that piece of now dried gum that you left on your bedside table last night!
Once he’s established in a career, and making some money, some younger lady, tired of hanging around 22 to 24 year old men who show no signs of an active frontal lobe, will come along and see that the engineer is at least a sincere person – and one with the added benefit of some money in the bank – and your problems will be over.
Of course, hers will just be started! Show her this web site, and wish her luck!