Believe it or not, your engineer understands romance! It just doesn’t show up when and how you think it should! Once you know the signs, you’ll understand when he’s being romantic – not that you’ll be any happier for the knowing!
When thinking about the word “romance”, most women think of a verb or action, with a meaning something like: “to court or woo romantically; treat with ardor or chivalrousness”. (As an aside, LWYE is written by engineers – who else would start off an article on romance with a dictionary definition!)
Your engineer DOES treat you with a measure of chivalry. He just doesn’t think of it as romantic – more likely self defense!
Think of it this way – if he treats you well by opening the door to let you sit in the car, you’ll be less inclined to lambast him all the way home over talking too long to the young cashier at the clothing store while you were spending more than her monthly paycheck as retribution for your engineer forgetting to get something NICE for your birthday – again! He was just trying to prove to himself that he CAN talk to women without them leaving – ignoring the possibility that she wanted to leave but couldn’t without losing her job!
So these apparently romantic forms of behavior from your engineer are more likely to be enlightened self-interest than truly inspired romantic behavior! Not that you shouldn’t enjoy them just the same!
So why do we say your engineer understands romance?
Well, let’s go back to the dictionary.
To your engineer romance is a noun – a one time action, rather than an on-going campaign of behavior. The operative definitions he uses for romance are:
- a novel or other prose narrative depicting heroic or marvelous deeds, pageantry, romantic exploits, etc., usually in a historical or imaginary setting.
- a baseless, made-up story, usually full of exaggeration or fanciful invention.
Yes, your engineer is very good at making up stories depicting his heroic deeds on your behalf. While the actual deeds may have occurred, the stories are usually exaggerated! Find the elements of truth in them – they are there and your engineer will feel very offended if you don’t acknowledge them!
Are they easy to spot?
Your engineer hopes not, as he thinks you are more likely to believe the entire story if you can’t quickly separate out the elements of truth. But, in reality, you can see through his story from miles away. You met much better liars when you were single, didn’t you!
But, don’t tell him that you can see through his stories. He needs to keep thinking them up! It’s critical to his ongoing happiness and sense of purpose!
How else will he have romance in his life?