The D.I.Y. Engineer

There are few things more satisfying to the engineering mind than to undertake a project around the house – especially for male engineers.

There is simply no substitute for the happiness that can be found in admiring the resolution of a problem that you, the most important person in his life, have mentioned. The engineer relishes the opportunity to perform an absolutely brilliant analysis of your problem, together with creative application of the design principles the engineer learned at university (and never gets to apply ANYWHERE else – why is that???).

Then, diligently applying a finely developed sense of the esthetic, a deep understanding of current fashion, about $150 in cash at the local hardware mega-store and ONLY about 8 hours of labor your engineer presents you with a wonderful albeit incredibly ugly contraption that clearly should be proudly displayed where EVERYONE can see it – despite the fact that what you really wanted would have only cost $35 at Walmart, and would have looked infinitely better.

It can be extremely difficult, but at a time like this it’s important to remember that your engineer needs your approval. Help him by reflecting on the deep commitment to your happiness that his sacrifice of time and money represents – even if both time and money are in short supply at the present time.

Tell him that you think he’s absolutely wonderful for his thoughtfulness. Put the item on display, in FULL sight of the world. Then wait a day, and gradually start to suggest that it would look better in a slightly less conspicuous place – but don’t start with the attic or garage just yet. Even the well-developed social mind of an engineer will see through that ploy.

Instead, keep IT in sight, gradually – every 2 or 3 days – moving IT to less noticeable areas in the same room. After a few moves, the object will no longer be visible to your engineer, as you already know all about his short attention span. At that point you will be safe to put IT in the attic, feed IT to the neighbor’s Rottweiler, or whatever resolution will give you the most  personal satisfaction.

One word of caution – NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, ( I can’t emphasize this enough) NEVER break the highly desirable solution to your problem that the engineer hath wrought for you. If you do, and he still has even the slightest  inkling that you might possibly have actually liked IT, your solution will magically reappear in a few days, with a far stronger emotional attachment. At this point, you will need a few months before you can safely remove IT. You’ve been warned, so please don’t go there.

As always, you should be grateful for your engineer. Every one of your friends wants their spouse to be more handy around the house. You don’t have their problem, now do you?

Finally, be thankful that you didn’t marry an accountant. No matter how bad it might be, your engineer at least has a sense of humor. Smile, and enjoy another day full of wonder.

You are welcome!