Just in case you hadn’t noticed yet (and we’re not sure how that would be possible!), your engineer is not very good at flirting.
Let’s be honest. “Did you know that Einstein has shown that there’s enough energy in this chair to power the whole world for a year?” and “I don’t believe in love – it’s just our body’s reaction to the chemicals we get from another person!” are not exactly renowned as successful conversation starters.
With you, he’s overcome this penchant to constantly demonstrate his broad knowledge and intellect – okay, maybe he hasn’t overcome it yet. But, in 40 years or so, it should be gone! The intellect that is. He’ll still be trying to show it off, if only he could remember whatever it was that he once knew!
But intellect is what your engineer has – and just about all he has! You ARE proud of his intellect, aren’t you? If not, why ARE you with him anyways? Vulnerability? Emotional availability?
Your engineer relies on his intellect to get by in a world that makes little sense to him – the world of interpersonal relationship building. He considers this whole topic to be The Dark Side! His rules in this world are simple –
- Impress others with his ability to think and solve problems.
- If the stranger hasn’t left after this demonstration of intellectual superiority, look for some redeeming skill the stranger might have which would allow him/her to help your engineer.
- When found, focus solely on achieving that help, stopping only when the stranger gives up on the possibility of a normal conversation and leaves.
- Start over with the next victim – oops, we mean stranger!
There is one other rule to be acknowledged – although your engineer hates to admit it!
He is perfectly capable of starting a conversation with any male, no matter how powerful or famous.
He can also start a conversation with
- Many of your female friends and relatives.
- Any female of higher rank in his organization – after all, there’s little chance of anything romantic developing between them, given the normal power dynamics at work.
- Women to whom he is not attracted (separately we discuss his taste in women, which is considerably different from the normal male’s taste).
What your engineer cannot do is start a conversation with a beautiful woman whom he finds attractive. It matters not if she has a PHD in nuclear physics. His vaunted ability to think under pressure deserts him, and your engineer suddenly sounds more like a Wookie than the thoughtful being you’ve come to know and love – okay tolerate is probably closer to the truth, but he’s happy with tolerate, believe us!
So, whenever you are out at a party together and you see your engineer easily talking to a strange woman, rest assured that he’s not likely to be attracted to her.
No, you are stuck with him and your engineer knows it!
Isn’t that (almost) EXACTLY what you wanted back when you were single!
Life can be wonderfully ironic – even to an engineer!
Smile, and keep your eye on him. Given enough time, you’ll soon have ANOTHER story to tell your kids when they are older!