Your engineer does not have a huge number of friends in his life. So the last thing he wants to do to anyone is do something HE knows to be impolite!

We know what you’re thinking – your engineer does a lot of things that are considered impolite by many people. To your engineer, these things are not at all improper, and were actually part of the social conditioning drilled into him by his professors back at school. He thinks everyone should behave his way.

Really, how much trouble could there be if everyone spoke the truth as they saw it all the time

All right, all right. We know that wars were started that way!

Let’s get back to our story.

If you have few friends and acquaintances, then it’s important to treat every one of them with respect. That means doing exactly what they ask for. If the invitation said that the party starts at 8, then your engineer wants to be there precisely at 8. Why else would they say that time if they really wanted people to show up at 9?

From bitter experience, you know that when you arrive at 8, you will be the only couple there! By the time the next couple arrives, your host and hostess have already developed a significant interest in being in any spot in their house where your engineer isn’t! One more possible social connection shut down before the party even gets started!

At times like this, you may find it helpful to remember that every cloud has a silver lining. Direct contact with your engineer has given your hosts a way to deal with the guests they don’t like. All your hosts need to do is take those guests to your engineer and introduce them. Your engineer will take care of the rest – believe me!

Knowing the disaster that awaits you should you arrive too early, you conspire to arrive fashionably late. This process is guaranteed not to bring out the best in your engineer. He’ll be pacing the floor, looking at his watch, trying to hurry you up, anything to get out of the house 5 minutes earlier.

But you must tolerate his behavior, while simultaneously continuing to stall. You know what’s best for him after all – too bad you can’t just tell him! He’d never understand!

If all else fails, try on of the following list of sure fire stalling techniques. You should easily be able to baffle him with the rationale on any of these… they are all about social considerations, and you know that your engineer knows nothing about anything social!

  • Didn’t our hosts send us a list of things we should bring? Guaranteed to keep him looking for 15 to 20 minutes. After all, as we said at the top, you engineer doesn’t want to disappoint the hosts!
  • Our outfits don’t match! One of us needs to change!
  • Did you remember the camera – you’re supposed to take pictures, and it didn’t work out so well when you used your cell phone camera last time. This is best used about 15 minutes after you leave your house.
  • Did you have their address?
  • Where’s our bottle of wine?
  • I just remembered that the hostess hates blue (said while you are wearing a blue outfit)

You do what you have to do to keep whatever social life you can! Just remember not to allow your engineer to fix anything once you get to your soon to be ex-friends’ house!